THERE PROBABLY WON'T BE BLOOD In the past couple days, Ozzy Osbourne has been on The Today Show, released an autobiography, and done book-signings around the city. Tonight he makes a stop into the Borders on Columbus Circle to continue the mini-tour, telling tales of his murky, drug-addled past, and letting heavy metal fans' kids sit on his lap. It'll be a bit tamer than early-era appearances for certain, but the mumbles that he eeks out these days are just as entertaining as watching him snort a pile of live ants.

Borders // 10 Columbus Circle, Manhattan // 7p // free // more info // directions

WHAT A RELIEF International crisis always brings out the best in New Yorkers, and the victims of the earthquake in Haiti have had countless benefit concerts and fundraisers sprout up in their support in the past two weeks. Tonight's show at The Bell House is a great one, featuring funny guys like Michael Showalter and Todd Barry; musicians like Ted Leo, AC Newman, The Blow and The Walkmen; and even a cameo by Pat Kiernan from NY1's In The Papers. Tickets are $50 apiece, a bargain for such a lineup. Every bit of the money will go to two charities that are on the ground in Port Au Prince and the surrounding areas. Go, and give as much as you can.

The Bell House // 149 7th St, Brooklyn // 6p // $50 gets you in, but if you can afford more, give it // more info // directions

note. If you can't make it but want to give some money for relief efforts, here's the Doctors Without Borders Haitian Earthquake Donation Page.

EGO TRIPPIN' 'BOUT GANGS In Can't Stop Won't Stop, Jeff Chang's excellent chronicle of the birth and rise of hip-hop, special attention is given to the early South Bronx street gangs like the Savage Skulls and Black Spades, whose ranks included many eventual young hip-hop creators and whose social constructs affected the way the culture was born. 

Tonight the guys from Ego-Trip, who are very well versed in hip-hop history themselves, are starting a film series at The Maysles Cinema in Harlem, and they're kicking things off with 80 Blocks From Tiffany's. The film from 1979, six years after the birth of hip-hop, captures an era when gang life had changed significantly but was still part of everyday life. After the screening, the director sits down for a chat with Robert Werner, a detective who was featured in the film.

Maysles Cinema // 343 Malcolm X Blvd, Manhattan // 7.30p // $9 // more info // directions

OH, ONEIDA Keeping it about as real as it gets, Oneida have been a genre-bending staple in the Brooklyn underground since there was such a thing as the Brooklyn underground. They're still killing it with noisy, trancey, freaky freakouts, and tonight they do so at Market Hotel, which is not a hotel, as we hope you've figured out by now.

Market Hotel // 1142 Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn // 8p // $10 // more info // directions

READY, AIM, FIRE Javelin are a duo making hodge podge electronic music with synths, samplers, handcrafted instruments and their own voices. They're releasing a full-length record on Luaka Bop Records in April. In live settings they send out their music to stacks of large, painted boomboxes via short band FM transmitters. Tonight they perform at the House of Yes for the Quiet Color Sloppy Circus, while aerialists, fire blowers and pole dancers do the things they do. And there's free pizza. Just another night in Brooklyn...

House of Yes // 342 Maujer St, Brooklyn // 8p - 3a // $10 // more info // directions
 

VITAL ORGANISTS Seleno Clarke is a Harlem resident and jazz musician who started as a sax player but ended up devoting his life to the organ. The story that we heard from our good buddy Jon Kirby, who lives uptown and works on the Carolina Soul archive (so he knows about things like this), is that about twenty years ago, Clarke was given an organ but needed a place to put it. (It's hard to fit one in your apartment.) He asked the folks at The American Legion up on 132nd St if he could use their basement, and they said yes. It sits there to this day, and every Sunday night from 7 to midnight, he keeps it active with a soul food-fueled jam session that features all kind of surprise guests sitting in on the Hammond B3.

The American Legion Post 398 // 248 W 132nd St, Manhattan // free // more info // directions

TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OF CONDUCTION For a quarter century, Butch Morris has been developing and honing something he calls Conduction, a vocabulary of hand movements he uses to conduct improvising musicians.  Performances under his baton are often breathtaking, a rare example of music that is free-spirited yet structured. Tonight at The Stone he gives a rare lecture and demonstration of the Conduction techniques before a pair of performances at Nublu with the little club's uber-talented, in-house orchestra.

The Stone and Nublu // 14 and 62 Ave C, Manhattan // price TBA // directions